100+ Funny Instagram Notes Ideas

I put the 'pro' in procrastination. #LaterGator

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode. 🔋

I don't need Google, my mom knows everything. #MomKnowsBest

I'm not saying I'm Batman, but no one has seen us in the same room. 🦇

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it. 🍔

I don't always study, but when I do, I don't. 📚

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. 🗣️

I need a six-month holiday, twice a year. #VacayMode

I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I just juggle everything. 🤹‍♀️

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything. 🛏️

Error 404: Abs not found. 🍩

WiFi is down. #PanicMode

Adulting: 0, Netflix: 1 📺

Sarcasm loading... ⏳

Diet loading... 1% complete. 🍕

Monday: 0, Coffee: 1 ☕

Gym? I thought you said Jim. 🤷‍♂️

Nap queen 👑💤

Humidity is making me curly. 💁‍♀️

I speak fluent sarcasm. 🙃

I'm not saying I'm Spiderman, but I do have a lot of cobwebs. 🕷️

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 💸

I don't always have time, but when I do, I waste it. ⏰

I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person. ☕

My room is not messy, it's an obstacle course. 🏃‍♂️

I love my job only when I'm on vacation. #WorkLife

I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome. 🧁

I put the 'fun' in dysfunctional. 🎭

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 🥃

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home. 🏠

I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. 🐨

Donut worry, be happy! 🍩

You had me at 'pizza'. 🍕

I'm not short, I'm pocket-sized adorable. 👖

Mondays should be optional. 📅

I put the 'cute' in execute. Wait, what? 😅

I'm not a morning person, I'm a 'stay in bed and cuddle' person. 🛌

My spirit animal is a panda. Eat, sleep, repeat. 🐼

I'm not procrastinating, I'm doing side quests. #GamerLife

You're the peanut butter to my jelly. #BestFriends

What's your go-to excuse for being late? ⏰

Tag a friend who's always hangry! 🍔

What's the funniest WiFi name you've seen? 📶

If your life was a movie, what would be the title? 🎬

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? 🍴

If you could uninvent one thing, what would it be? #ByeFelicia

What's your spirit animal and why is it a sloth? 🦥

What's the most ridiculous fact you know? 🤓

If you were a superhero, what would be your useless superpower? 🦸‍♂️

What's your favorite dad joke? Tag a dad! 👨

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? #BohemianRhapsody

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. 👕

I like big butts and I cannot lie. 🍑

If you like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. 🍹

I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. 🎵

I came in like a wrecking ball! 🔨

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier! 🕯️

I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa. 💙

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. #Rickrolled

Oops!...I did it again. 🙈

I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen 💀

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. - Unknown 🤔

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. - Unknown 📝

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort. - Zach Galifianakis 🏰

I'm not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? - Chandler Bing #Friends

I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown 🧦

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. - Unknown 🗣️

I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. - Unknown #MarriedLife

I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman. I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together. - Unknown 🦸‍♀️

I'm not lazy. I'm just very relaxed. - Unknown 😴