33+ Hilarious Quotes for Instagram Notes: Make Your Followers LOL

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode. 🔋

I need a six-month holiday, twice a year. #Mood

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. 🤓

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas. 💁‍♀️

I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. #MarriedLife

I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person. ☕

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 🥃

I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen us in the same room together. 🦸‍♀️

I'm not arguing, I'm simply passionately explaining why I'm right. #Debate

I don't need anger management. You just need to stop making me angry. 😤

Sarcasm loading... ⏳

Error 404: Motivation not found. 🔍

I adult at least 3 days a week. #Adulting

Weekend, is that you? 👀

Diet loading... 1% complete. 🍕

Friday, my second favorite F word. 😉

Namast'ay in bed. 🛌

Wine not? 🍷

Relationship status: Netflix and literally chill. ❄️

I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome. 🧁

I'm not saying it was aliens, but it was aliens. 👽

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, I eat it. 🍔

I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. 💇‍♂️

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me. 🤕

I don't need a personal trainer, chasing my dreams is enough cardio. 🏃‍♀️

I put the 'pro' in procrastination. #LaterGator

I'm not saying I'm Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room? 🦇

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. 🛏️

I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen us together in the same room. 🦸‍♀️

I don't need Google, my mom knows everything. #MomKnowsBest

I'm not saying I'm the cutest, but my mom thinks so. 🥰

You had me at 'free food'. 🍕

I'm not short, I'm just pocket-sized adorable. 👖

My spirit animal is a sloth... but cuter. 🦥

I put the 'cute' in execute. Wait, what? 😅

I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for awesomeness. ⚡

Donut worry, be happy! 🍩

I'm not a morning person, I'm a 'stay in bed and cuddle' person. 🛌

I'm not procrastinating, I'm doing side quests. #GamerLife

You're the peanut butter to my jelly. #BestFriends

What's your go-to excuse for being late? ⏰

Tag a friend who's always hangry! 🍔

What's the funniest Wi-Fi name you've seen? 📶

If your life was a movie, what would the title be? 🎬

What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? 🍴

If you could uninvent one thing, what would it be? #ByeFelicia

What's your spirit animal and why is it a sloth? 🦥

What's the most ridiculous fact you know? 🤓

If you were a superhero, what would be your useless superpower? 🦸‍♂️

What's your favorite dad joke? Tag a dad! 👨

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? #BohemianRhapsody

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. 👕

I like big butts and I cannot lie. 🍑

If you like Piña Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. 🍹

I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble. 🎵

I came in like a wrecking ball! 🔨

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier! 🕯️

I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa. 💙

We're no strangers to love, you know the rules and so do I. #Rickrolled

Oops!...I did it again. 🙈

I'm not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen 💀

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. - Unknown 🤔

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. - Unknown 📝

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort. - Zach Galifianakis 🏰

I'm not good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? - Chandler Bing #Friends

I'm not saying I'm Wonder Woman, I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together. - Unknown 🦸‍♀️

I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown 🧦

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. - Unknown 🗣️

I don't need Google, my wife knows everything. - Unknown #MarriedLife

I'm not saying I'm Batman. I'm just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room together. - Unknown 🦇